The poem "Alone" by David Whyte is my favorite one so far, and this week I listen and read it many times. The poem is in the book Consolations that he published in 2014. I will respond by writing my experience with loneliness as a way of conversation with the poem.
Being alone
Being alone is frightened with the question: "Am I alone in this world?". I have tried to avoid this question by constantly connecting with others. They give me a sense of closeness and belonging. But in the end, happiness or sadness are just emotions that come to mind. And I am the only person who experiences all of these emotions, and I am the only one responsible for all of those experiences.
Being alone is difficult. When I am alone, negative emotions surge and invade my mind, and it created growing loops of negativity. I have to learn to admit my weaknesses, sorrow and regret.
To be alone for any length of time is to shed an outer skin. The body is inhabited in a different way when we are alone than when we are with others. Alone, we live in our bodies as a question rather than a statement.
- Alone by David Whyte.
After taking a shower, I sometimes catch my naked body in front of the mirror, gazing at every angle of it, sighing at my fat belly. But I have to find a way to accept my whole to continue living. When I am alone, I have to shed outer skin to reveal my heart's wounds, bathe them in the wind and the sun, and find a way to heal them.
Aloneness begins in puzzlement at our own reflection, transits through awkwardness and even ugliness at what we see, and culminates, one appointed hour or day, in a beautiful unlooked for surprise, at the new complexion beginning to form, the slow knitting together of an inner life, now exposed to air and light.
- Alone by David Whyte.
The loneliness created peace of mind, like when I stumbled across a quiet lake after riding a motorbike for many hours on a noisy street and wonder how I missed this place. In this space, I could feel the warmth of the blazing sunshine, the tingling sensation on my flesh by the wind, the vibrations of the leaves on the water, the scent of freshly cut lawns, the smell of narcissus flowers by the lake, the flying sparrows and dancing starlings. I silently watched them and let the outside world merge with me into one.
Being alone in the 21st century, however, is a difficult one. I am caught up in the comforts of technology. I obsessed with every notification, every message seen but no reply. I am with my friends, but we don't spend time together.
Proactively seeking loneliness becomes a radical act about letting go of habits and demand for a continuous connection. I find the courage to the conversation with the inner voice of the sleepness night. And sometimes, I will find my peaceful lake and let the world become one with me.