Recently, I asked myself, "What is a happy life?" Even though I don't have the answer yet, I do know what an unhappy life is.
I am living a bad life. I spend my time pursuing sexual desires and acting ignorantly to fill gaps in my soul. My mind was filled with insecurities; Am I beautiful enough? Am I good enough? What do others think of me? How do I have money, how to be famous, and respected? I am afraid of the past and insecure about the future. I preoccupy thinking about negative things that miss the beauty of life. Is life with all these defilements a life worth living?
If I try to control every action, it's just trying to change a small part of a machine. Why don't I install a new operating system for my machine, let my life move differently, and with new rules?
The meditative moments that I had given me a little experience of what it felt. It's a sense of freedom, transparency, and wisdom. And I think it's a life worth living.
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