What are the sources of unsteadiness in my life?

The source of my instability is most of my cognitive behavior, including emotions and unconscious behaviors.

Emotion

Emotions come from my perspective on a particular event. Emotions like looking through the stained glass; it changes your world's color.

Example: I have a lot of assignments lately, and it makes me feel anxious, and the tension goes up and makes me feel stress.

• Perspective 1: I am a weak person and not smart enough, so I can't do all my homework.

• Perspective 2: It is normal not to do all the exercises. I need time to learn and adapt.

Sometimes I realize how emotions come into my consciousness, sometimes the feeling it suddenly takes over, overlaying my life a gloomy tone and makes me suffer. Maybe the next time a negative emotion comes, I will notice its presence, understand it, and wait for it to pass.

Unconscious behavior

Emotions can perceive and understand, but the unconscious behaviors come to me more silently, and I usually don't realize it. Those are the patterns of behavior that I unconsciously follow. For example, when I meet a crowded place, I often immediately shrink back and find a safe place to hide. I kept acting on such instinct, and sometimes I didn't wonder what was going on, why, and what makes me do that.

Going back to the crowded example, I think what I have inside is the secret feeling that I'm afraid of others, scared of people underestimating me, hating, and stigmatizing me. When I look inward and see reasons like this, I find these feelings somewhat ridiculous debut it is still something going on and silently affecting me.

To realize unconscious behaviors, I need to observe myself, be aware, question what you are doing, why I act that way, and What actions should I take according to my core values?