The source of my instability is most of my cognitive behavior, including emotions and unconscious behaviors.
Emotion
Emotions come from my perspective on a particular event. Emotions like looking through the stained glass; it changes your world's color.
Example: I have a lot of assignments lately, and it makes me feel anxious, and the tension goes up and makes me feel stress.
Perspective 1: I am a weak person and not smart enough, so I can't do all my homework.
Perspective 2: It is normal not to do all the exercises. I need time to learn and adapt.
Sometimes I realize how emotions come into my consciousness, sometimes the feeling it suddenly takes over, overlaying my life a gloomy tone and makes me suffer. Maybe the next time a negative emotion comes, I will notice its presence, understand it, and wait for it to pass.
Unconscious behavior
Emotions can perceive and understand, but the unconscious behaviors come to me more silently, and I usually don't realize it. Those are the patterns of behavior that I unconsciously follow. For example, when I meet a crowded place, I often immediately shrink back and find a safe place to hide. I kept acting on such instinct, and sometimes I didn't wonder what was going on, why, and what makes me do that.
Going back to the crowded example, I think what I have inside is the secret feeling that I'm afraid of others, scared of people underestimating me, hating, and stigmatizing me. When I look inward and see reasons like this, I find these feelings somewhat ridiculous debut it is still something going on and silently affecting me.
To realize unconscious behaviors, I need to observe myself, be aware, question what you are doing, why I act that way, and What actions should I take according to my core values?
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